Board Thread:Konoha General RP/@comment-26068742-20170730091018/@comment-26068742-20170731085821

Deucalions mom's hand writing

Someone can have over a million regrets, just so happens I think I might be one of those people. Thats why I think I hate reflecting on my past. What I hate regretting is keeping words that need to be said, especially if they are feeling words, you know words that express your feelings. But I realized it a lil too late I feel as if im a prisoner of my own world, it's not that I don't love my kids but I wish i could stop and freeze time and change my mind. Now that Kaine's dead I feel as if I can't go on I can't be the parent Deucalia wants me to be. Which is why I’m leaving I want to leave cards i didn't want to at first because it would be sad, I told her I wished I were there to stroke Deucalion cheeks and hug him again. And I assured her that I am always with them. I signed each card, "Love you Mommy." I hope the gifts are the right thing to do. I picture them blowing out the candles on their cakes over the years surrounded by their friends, happy and laughing. Part of me fears that going to their little nest to pull out "Mom's gift" will actually ruin an otherwise happy day. I hope that opening them each year will not feel like ripping the scab off a fresh wound causing it to bleed again. I don't want the gifts to pull them down;  Because I don't want to make their grief last any longer than necessary. I just want to still be with them someway, somehow after I'm gone. And maybe that is selfish of me ... maybe I need to let them go without trying so hard to stay behind. ~Mona Uchiha